


Kids can be cruel

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Body Modification, Bullying, Childhood Memories, F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Minor Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Past Character Death, Pre-Relationship, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-07 21:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Jester watched him intently as he absentmindedly picked at his tusks, the small stubby things that didn’t even have a point to them yet, and wondered if he even knew if he was doing it.





	Kids can be cruel

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this is just a small little fic that I wrote based off of inspiration from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2kqASOMLeI
> 
> IF THIS IF YOUR VIDEO I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU BECAUSE IVE BEEN GRINNING LIKE A FOOL FOR DAYS. I've watched this maybe 100 times.
> 
> This is just a short fic about Jester and Fjord's tusks. I can't believe that I haven't written a Fjord/Jester fic yet?? I don't ship HARD but I think after writing this I think I might...

Jester watched him intently as he absentmindedly picked at his tusks, the small stubby things that didn’t even have a point to them yet, and wondered if he even knew if he was doing it. Probably not- he was staring out at what counted as a sunset in Xhorhas with a hand to his lips and was just… picking. She wanted to go over there, to ask him what was bothering him or if it was anything at all, but Nott was tugging at her sleeve and pulling her away and she put it in the back of her mind for later.

Beau must have noticed her watching him one day because she slid up beside her one night while she is drawing in her sketchbook and said, “I know I’m not one to be giving relationship advice but if you want my opinion, girl to girl, I think you should go for it.”

When she looked up at her sincere expression and open eyes, Jester crinkled her nose. “What are you talking about Beau?”

“You know,” She nodded her head towards the wall between their room and the one Fjord shared with Caduceus as if he were closer. “Fjord. You’ve been looking at him a lot lately and I’m just saying, if you need a bit of a push, I think you should go for it.”

Blinking, Jester closed her sketchbook and placed her quill down gently beside her. “Oh no, it’s not that… yet. He’s just been picking at his tusks a lot the whole time we’ve been here and I don’t want him to feel less like an orc because other people are bigger than him, that’s all.”

Frowning, Beau thought for a moment before she turned onto her back and looked at Jester upside down, hair falling towards the floor like reaching, grasping hands. “Well, you could always ask him about it. Maybe see if he’s alright. I doubt he’d tell you to fuck off and if he does I’ll break his fucking nose.” Jester laughed and Beau smiled. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? He could say no.”

“Yeah, ok.” Jester agreed and picked up her sketchbook. Beside her doodle of the mark of Captain Tusktooth with the two tusks of different sizes, she drew a half-orc with a scared face and a lithe body and tiny, ugly tusks peeking out from his bottom lip.

For the next couple of days, Jester noticed Caduceus looking at her with knowing eyes and a wide smile and every time he caught her staring, he jerked his chin to Fjord with an obvious urge to speak to him and winked every time she made a face. Of course, Caduceus would notice- she should have expected it. He saw everything.

On the day Jester finally gave in, she found Fjord sitting beside Caleb on the edge of a steep cliff, dangling his legs over the side as Caleb sat cross-legged with his book in his lap and Frumpkin around his shoulders. She watched them for a moment before she cleared her throat loudly and they both turned to look at her- Fjord with a hand reaching out and ready to summon his falchion, she noticed. “Oh, Jester,” Caleb smiled that small little smile of his as he saw her and Frumpkin purred, leaping off of his shoulders and stretching on the ground before he made his way over to her and rubbed himself against her legs. “I thought you were playing with Nott.”

“I was before but I’m here now,” Jester agreed. “Could I… could I speak to Fjord?”

The haste at which Caleb stood was faster than Jester had expected and when he passed her, he patted her on the shoulder and the small smile of his was more like a huge, beaming grin as bright as the sun from her bedroom window back home with her mama and Frumpkin followed soon after, leaving Jester alone with a very curious Fjord. “Is everything alright, Jess?” Fjord asked and there was an undertone of concern there and also… something she couldn’t identify.

“Oh, yeah, you know,” Jester sighed as she flopped down beside Fjord with her leg’s joining his over the edge and her dress turning into a large blanket for the two of them, pooling out and the over-hanging edges waving in the upwards wind. She had to hold it down to keep her modesty though she really didn’t care for herself. “I just wanted to talk to you. Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry.”

They sat in silence for a few long moments with Fjord’s comfortable presence against her side and the sound of her heels kicking against the rock, and then the silence became unbearable and the words Jester wanted so desperately to ask were suddenly tumbling around and around in her head like a whirling dervish. “Are you upset about your tusks again?” she blurted out and immediately covered her treacherous mouth with her hand.

Fjord turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow and the beginnings of a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “What do you mean?”

Nervously, Jester began twisting the hem of her dress in her hands. “It’s just that… you’ve been picking at them a lot recently and I know that you don’t like them very much so I just wanted to make sure that you were… ok.”

For a strange, startling moment, Fjord seemed lost for words. Clever Fjord who could talk his way out of the direst situation and still somehow come out with more gain than loss- speechless? “Oh, right. I uh, I’ll be honest. I haven’t really noticed but I guess you’re right. It’s just that… being here I’m reminded that I don’t really fit in anywhere. I’m too small to be of orcish blood and I’m too orcish to be around people so I just… I don’t know. I guess it’s just similar to when I was a kid.”

“I know what you mean,” Jester said quietly and was surprised when she realized that she meant it.

Fjord raised an eyebrow at her. “You do?”

“I mean, sure.” Jester shrugged. It didn’t really bother her. “Even back home with Mama, even though people loved her because she was the Ruby of the Sea, some people didn’t like my horns, you know? And even on the road, before I met you and Beau, there were some people who looked at me weird and walked away from me but I didn’t care. I guess I knew I was different but I’ve never cared about what they thought of me.”

“Well, I wish I had your tenacity,” Fjord admitted with a hand through his hair. “I uh… I’ve never been good at dealing with people’s dirty looks and jarring. I learnt at a very young age that kids… they can be cruel. And often that translates into adulthood and those kids never stop being bullies.”

As Fjord spoke, rubbing at his chin like his tusks were itching at him, Jester watched him with a care and consideration that surprised even her. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Fjord.” He looked at her curiously. “I mean it. You’re nice and caring and you always make sure everyone is listened to and you make everyone happy!”

“Thanks, Jess,” Fjord rubbed the back of his neck and Jester suppressed a grin at the red that spread across his cheeks. “That’s very kind of you.”

Jester finally noticed the gold glint from the minimal sun bouncing off the object that Fjord was twirling between his fingers with the care and precision of a dagger and he held it as tenderly as he would a lover. “What’s that?”

Fjord glanced down at it as if he were only just noticing it was there. “Oh, it’s a file. Molly brought it for me,” he explained, “He caught me filing them down one day and didn’t like the tool I was using so he gave Yasha some money and she went to buy one.”

“That was very nice of him,” Jester said, at a loss for words. What she really wanted was to ask if she could hold it but by the way he was cradling it between his fingers she didn’t think that was a very reasonable request. “I guess he wasn’t such an asshole anyway.”

“Oh no, he was defiantly an asshole,” Fjord chuckled. The gold file glinted in the light and the blue sapphire twinkled at Jester, almost as if it were calling to her. _I hope Fjord hides that from Nott,_ she thought, _otherwise he’ll wake up with it missing and he’ll never find it again._ “But sometimes he had his moments. He was defiantly the best asshole I’ve ever met, and believe me, I’ve met a lot of fucking assholes.”

Jester giggled and held her hands up to her face. “Oh really? How many assholes have you met? We’re they good assholes? Or were they not good? Because you know, some fucking assholes are better than other fucking assholes.”

Sighing, Fjord reached over and pulled Jester into a one-armed hug and Jester squeaked in surprise as she fell against his side. “You’re alright, Jester, but sometimes you need to keep your outside thoughts inside your head.”

They sat together watching the sky darken more than it already was and wondered whether Molly would be proud of her. He always did encourage her closeness with Fjord and knew that he, more than anyone, wanted her to spread happiness. “Fjord,” She asked and he hummed in response. “I’m not going to tell you to stop digging at your tusks if it’s something that makes you feel better about yourself. If you want to keep doing it, you can. I just don’t want you to think that you have to.”

Fjord looked down at her with a considering look and she glanced up at him through her thick eyelashes that cast shadows down her cheekbones. Light glinted off the silver caps on her horns. “I haven’t actually used Molly’s file,” he softly. “I’ve always wanted to but I didn’t want to ruin it. It was too wonderful and then by the time I was going to use it, the Iron Shepard’s happened and I Molly died and I…” he trailed off and the haunted look on his face made something seize in Jester’s chest. “I wonder if maybe looking more like an orc would have people treating me like one, you know? People are scared of orcs and trolls and giants because they look like they could tear you to pieces. I’ve always wondered if that would happen to me if I had my tusks.”

Almost hesitantly, Jester reached a hand up and smoothed her fingers down his cheeks. He didn’t react but his eyes track the movement of her gentle touch before she moved it to his mouth and pulled down his bottom lip. His tusks, while still chipped and scratched and not at all the menacing things people had grown to fear, but she thought they were wonderful, and she ran her finger gently over the tiny point that was beginning to sprout. Fjord still didn’t pull away. “I think that tusks are like horns. It can be both a blessing and a curse. People leave me alone because they’re scared of me because horns don’t mean anything good but they also know not to mess with me because they know how badly I can fuck them up. The same goes for tusks- people are scared because you look like a monster and they think that you will raid their villages or something stupid but they know that you can throw them halfway across the bar if they get in your face.”

“That’s… very wise, Jester.” Fjord actually sounded a little surprised and Jester wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “But… do you really think I’m a…?” He trailed off but Jester already knew where he was headed.

“A monster?” Jester asked simply and there wasn’t a touch of sympathy in her words. “Yes. But that’s ok because I’m a monster too. We can be monsters together. You and me and Nott and Yasha and even Caduceus.”

The laugh that forced its way out of Fjord is one that shook him so strongly that Jester felt it vibrate through her from where she was pressed up against him. She was very glad that he was obviously in much better spirits. “You certainly have a very optimistic way of thinking. Thanks, Jessy.” He paused and smiled at her as Jester pulled away. “I think… I think I needed to hear that more than I thought.”

“I’m very glad to help,” Jester beamed. She tapped her finger on Fjord’s nose and he blinked in surprise. “And besides- you’re much too _handsome_ to frown like that.”

Fjord’s smirk was lopsided but very genuine. “Tell you what- if you see me picking at them again, even if we’re just hanging about, you tell me to stop and I will.” He winked at her and Jester grinned. “I feel like you won’t have a problem letting me know. Sometimes it’s just a subconscious habit, you know? But just give me a little slap on the wrist if you catch me.”

“I can do that.” Jester nodded.

It was completely dark by the time Jester detangled herself from Fjord, who wanted to spend a few more moments looking out over the sea with Molly’s golden gift in his hands, so Jester made her way back to the tavern and to the room she shared with Beau with a fluttering in her chest. As she passed Caduceus, he gave her a knowing and proud smile, and she grinned.


End file.
